


Pain Is Just A Simple Compromise

by AStarlitSunflower



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Nightmares, POW!Harry, PTSD, PTSD nightmares, Please take these tags into consideration, PoW, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Torture, War Of Americas flashbacks, War of Americas, harrisco, hurt comfort, things get brutal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 07:05:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14744210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AStarlitSunflower/pseuds/AStarlitSunflower
Summary: Cisco gets an accidental front row seat into what plagues Harry every night.





	Pain Is Just A Simple Compromise

“ _ Out top story tonight; Central City once again extends its thanks to The Flash and his team. Central City had yet another meta attack tonight, and luckily Team Flash was not far behind…”  _ The anchor’s voice echoed through the apartment, Harry and Cisco completely asleep on the couch. Harry’s head was dropped back on the top of the couch, mouth open and snoring, one arm stretched out on the top as well, remote loosely held in his hand. Cisco had his feet stretched out, his torso and head resting back against Harry’s side and chest, his hands folded over his own stomach, also snoring. 

 

The plan was to come home, decompress, order some food and soothe the aches and pains they received from the meta they fought. 

 

They got as far as taking off their jackets, and channel surfing. 

 

Harry’s shoulder ached from the kickback of his pulse rifle, an ache he’s held most of his life. He shifted his arm, the remote dropping down next to Cisco’s hip and down between the cushions. His hand slid down, fingertips resting over Cisco’s on his stomach; it lessened the ache.

 

Cisco’s fingers twitched in recognition of the touch, flicking up before dropping back down, a hum escaping as he stayed asleep. 

 

Harry’s dreams shifted at the contact, melting away from the horrors of his past to a wide open park with a beautiful copper toned waterfall. He recognized this from his world, a place he’d taken Cisco a dozen times to escape everyone.

 

Cisco’s dreams weren’t that lucky. Images, Lights, Faces flashed all through his head, nearly giving him whiplash before finally landing the face a younger man, maybe twenty, could be younger.

 

_ “What do we do, Captain? We’re surrounded.” _

 

Cisco could feel his fear, could feel more than just his fear, when he looked up he realized he was surrounded by men, far too young. Men, mud, and blood. The scent was thick, too thick to breathe but Cisco forced his chest to move,his lungs to inhale and exhale. Before fear, he felt anger and disappointment. 

 

Something loud happened by his head and the scene changed, he felt weak and exhausted. His back burned, and his arms stung, tied up over his head as he hung there. He stared at the same kids face; this time gaunt and skinnier, his ribs were showing and he had barely any muscle in his arms, but he blinked at Cisco and that was enough for him somehow. He opened his mouth to speak, to remind this kid why they were there, why they fought and who he fought for.    
  


_ “Tess.”  _ That wasn’t Cisco’s voice, but he’s sure he was the one to say it. A blinding flash streaked across his back and his chest moved forward while his head fell back; another flash.

_ “When you get back we’ll design the labs, but just get back.”  _ A gorgeous blonde woman cradled his cheek, heartache in her voice. 

 

Cisco gently took her hand, it was instinct, it felt right, and he kissed her palm. _ “In the vast night sky…” _

 

_ “You are the only star I see.”  _

 

A shock of ice cold water being poured over his face caused him to come back, he shook his head and coughed and gagged until his throat burned with bile from his empty stomach. 

 

_ “Captain, Captain!” _ He looked, seeing the last two of his battalion, weak and clinging to each other; they won’t take another hit, Cisco was to make sure of it. He knew, somehow, the rest of his battalion were gone, burned, bled, and left out in the dirt to rot. But he knew their names, in the back of his head he would always remember their names and dog tags. 

 

_ “I’m here, I’m here. We’ll make it out, you will get home.” _ He nodded, a promise he meant. He seemed to repeat it more than a prayer to these men. Explosions echoed outside, debris hitting the too-small building they were kept in; the size of it made Cisco choke, even with just the three of them, it was still too crowded. 

 

A hole cracked through the building and Cisco stood there in front of his soldiers, barely holding himself up and yet still ready to fight; to scratch and bite and cut and make their captor bleed until he got his hands on a gun, to show how he earned his ranking of Captain at such a young age. 

 

But he recognized the colors, recognized the helmets and uniforms; more of his men. He dropped to his knees and sobbed. 

 

Another explosion rippled too close and Cisco was no longer staring at the men under his command, this time there was a line of men tied to posts. Their uniforms shredded as he paced in front of them, his own hands and clothes coated, sticky and heavy with their blood. 

 

Cisco wasn’t Cisco anymore, he didn’t know who he was at this point. He was pacing in front of the men, and a man tied to a post, watching Harry pace, glare, silent and raging. If he wasn’t filled with blinding fear before, he definitely was before. 

 

Harry moved, pulling a hunting knife out of a sheath on his thigh; he moved down the line, grabbing hair and slicing necks, just enough to get them to choke on their blood before dying.

When he got to Cisco he dropped the knife, moving to stand in front of him instead. He didn’t say a word, Cisco was Cisco again, fearful and petrified. Harry moved and picked up a rifle, his movements stiff, controlled as he took a stance and aimed. 

 

Cisco remembered the flash, remembered screaming to stop before a bullet caused pain to rattle and squeeze and tear his chest wide open for the world to see; just like Eobard had those years ago. 

  
  


Harry heard the screaming before he felt the apartment shaking, violently pulled from his calm dream by the water to see Cisco standing in a corner, screaming his voice out, hands forward and glowing blue ready to breach or blast. The frequency of the tv wavered before giving fuzzy snow, the center of the shaking coming from Cisco’s feet and presence in the apartment. Harry was quick and careful, adjusting his glasses as he stood and kept his own hands out.

 

“Ramon, it’s me. It’s Harry.” He repeated slowly, trying to talk over Cisco’s screaming.

 

“Don’t shoot, don’t hit, don’t touch them, they’re just kids! They’re just soldiers!” He screamed to Harry, his eyes glazed over, clearly lost in his surroundings.

 

Harry felt those words like a punch to the gut, but he couldn’t dwell on that now, that’ll come later. “Ramon. The soldiers are home, they’re safe and they have families now.” Harry was saying the words, but he remembers them in Tess’ voice. 

 

Cisco blinked, the shaking lessened just a bit, it was working.

 

“Look at me, Cisco. You’re home too. You have a family now too. You have Jesse, you have me. Look at me right now.” He took his careful steps, feeling the shaking calm before the glow of Cisco’s hands dimmed. 

 

“So much blood, so much screaming…” Cisco whispered, his voice raw but thick with tears, his cheeks stained from his sobbing that has yet to subside.

 

“I know,” Harry was honest in that. “But it’s quiet now.” He waved a hand around his ear. “No screaming, no blood, the soldiers are home in their beds.” 

 

“Harry…” Cisco’s voice broke when he finally saw him, his hands dropping down before he collapsed, just like his dream, sobbing into his hands. 

 

Harry didn’t hesitate anymore, he moved and dropped down with him, gathering Cisco in his arms and holding him to his chest. He rocked back at forth, lips buried in Cisco’s mess of hair just letting him get it out. 

 

Neither of them were sure how long they were like that, just that it was well into the night when Cisco finally hiccuped and sniffled and exhaled thickly. 

 

“You never talk about it….I should have asked….I should have, when I found-”   
  
“No.” Harry cut him out, one hand moving to hold his face, his thumb brushing away tear stains. “This is not your burden to bear.”

 

Cisco looked hurt by that. 

 

“Not because you aren’t strong enough to bear it, I would never think that of you.” Harry could read Cisco like a book, he was the only one. “My time in my war is my nightmare.” He cleared his throat softly, it did nothing to stop his usual gruffness. 

 

“No. Not anymore, not after tonight. I saw…”Cisco puffed air out, getting his thoughts together. “Jay...Hunter mentioned the War Of Americas, I shrugged it off. But...One night we stayed at your house on your earth like we’ve done so many times.” He sniffled, moving to wipe his nose. “I couldn’t sleep, I wandered the house a bit to tire myself out; I found your old war stuff...Hidden but…” He shook his head, looking back up at Harry’s face. “I didn’t ask….It was hidden, I assumed for a reason, I didn’t want to pry but...Your nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night and telling me it’s nothing…” He bit his bottom lip, Harry noticed it and saw the guilt building up to spill out.

 

“Ramon,” He sighed out slowly, “I’ve tried everything.” Might as well face the music. “I went through our earth veterans program, I went through the therapy, I embraced, ignored, tried to destroy, drank...anything.” His thumb stayed stroking his cheek. “I’ve learned with my time, it’s easier to swallow it every morning.”

 

“It’s why you hate yourself.” Cisco exhales, looking down only to have his head tilted back up.

 

“What I did….The things done to me, to the others, the soldiers….It’s unspeakable. Unchangeable.” He shook his head, pressing his lips to Cisco’s forehead. “Something I never wanted you to see. You have to understand,” He looked back down, locking eyes. “I’m not….I’m not a monster, not anymore. But if anything happened to Jesse….to you….I would not hesitate to revert back what kept me and those soldiers alive.”

 

Cisco moved, getting out of Harry’s lap only to kneel on the floor in front of him while Harry stayed cross-legged, both hands cupping his jaw, his face set. “I know you are not a monster. You are a survivor. A leader. A fighter. You never were a monster, I don’t care what your brain tells you, you never have been a monster, not to me, not to anyone. You saved those soldiers, you got the information your army needed, and you got home to her.” He nodded, his face still set, eyes burning through Harry.

 

“You saw her?” Harry arched an eyebrow.

 

Cisco just nodded, “Just the moment you said goodbye to her…” He kept his hands on Harry’s jaw, sighing out slowly.

  
  


\--

 

They were quiet for a moment, just getting back to each others presence, Cisco had moved back into Harry’s lap, arms around his waist as he laid against his chest and focused on his heart beat. 

 

“Ramon….Cisco.” Harry’s voice was a whisper, not wanting to disturb their silence. But Cisco hummed in response, so he was awake. “Don’t….Just do me this favor, don’t tell anyone else, especially not Jesse.” 

 

The silence from Cisco made Harry panic. 

 

“You should wear a dampener to bed, so this never happens again. I’ll tune one up at the labs. Get it fitted for you.” Harry rambled poor solutions. 

 

It made Cisco smile small before sitting up.

 

“I’m not wearing a dampener to bed.” Harry seemed to sit on pins and needles as Cisco spoke. “I won’t tell anyone, I won’t tell Jesse.” A sigh of relief escaped him. “But, you have to promise me that when that happens again, when you have a nightmare, when your PTSD is triggered, you wake me or find me and you talk to me.” His expression turned serious. “This isn’t your war to fight alone anymore. If I have to breach us home so we can talk, I will. I don’t care what we’re in the middle of doing. You are the only one for me.” He rested their foreheads together. 

 

“You’re the only one for me.” Harry sighed,his hands resting on Cisco’s back. 

 

“Say it. Say You’ll talk to me, no matter what.” Cisco’s hands squeezed against Harry’s back, needing the confirmation, needing his word.

 

“As you wish, Buttercup.” Harry smiled faintly, kissing Cisco’s nose as Cisco broke out into a grin.

  
  


They both moved after that, shutting down the living room and texting Barry they were taking a late morning to sleep in before they finally changed for bed and collapsed into bed. Harry wrapped his arms around Cisco as Cisco tangled their legs, sleeping finding both of them easily. 

 

This time they both dreamt of the waterfall. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have a special place in my heart for POW!Harry and Aquaexplicit put it there.
> 
> This idea has been rattling around for awhile and I finally decided to flesh it out.
> 
> Also yes the title is from Misguided Ghosts by Paramore
> 
> (it's hurt/comfort because apparently that's literally All I can write.)


End file.
